I write when I’m spiralling I think

Damn I wanna be positive but like fk I’m kinda struggling rn

I’m struggling with that horrible inner critique voice that is making feel like a fucking loser. I feel like a pathetic, inept, incapable, incompetent loser and I know how horrible that all sounds, I’m aware how sad it is. I hate this pity party of feeling sorry for myself. This part of myself that needs deep healing cause I hear it from everyone around me to stop being neg and to meditate and like fuck I just feel like there’s so many voices and so much pressure right now and I feel so pathetic for not being able to handle said pressure, at least internally. Externally you might never know but like fuck me. What is Dua Lipa’s secret? Am I deeply unfulfilled? I think I’m really lost and confused. Really really lost and confused right now. Really out here crawling around on my hands and knees, throwing up all over the place and walking around on my hands in knees in my vomit, crying and throwing up and crawling. Like a baby I guess but grown up and people telling me to be more positive. And really I want to. I need to see my therapist again bad, really bad. I just need to funds so you should totally click on that buy me coffee link on my page but it’s more like buy-me-a-therapy-appointment so I don’t crash out on Substack like this again and actually provide quality content.

I’ll be fine.

Goodnight.